"You're having a tantrum - aren't you?!"
Sometimes it can feel IMPOSSIBLE to stop yourself!
As we walked along, my good friend put his arm on my shoulder and smiled at me.
The 'red mist' had descended and I was fuming.
“The thing is………” I said.
“And……..another thing”.
“And……..another thing”.
“And…..it’s just not on…”.
“Let it go, Ollie – just let it go and let’s enjoy this….it’s no biggie….”.
“I know, but………”. I replied.
And no matter what he said, even though I knew he was right - I was just stuck!
Angry. Right. Self-destructing in a tantrum at the age of 50!
And the cause?
I’m embarrassed to say…..not least as an accredited coach….
Another great friend had decided to change our golf arrangements at short notice and it wasn’t what I had planned.
In “MY” plan, we had a relaxed start to our “PERFECT” round of golf.
In our new reality, we were rushing because my friend wanted to get home a bit earlier.
I mean – how outrageous!
My reaction was ridiculous – but that’s not how it felt for me during those crucial 20 minutes when I was locked in my thoughts and unable to step back and see the bigger picture.
And, of course, the tantrum had consequences, even after I had sorted myself out after a few holes.
We lost heavily. Which affected my partner. And worse than that – I looked a complete buffoon to my best friends!
They’ll enjoy that for a while!
An apology. Forgiving myself (the next day). And the ability to laugh at myself and take my punishment have all helped smooth things over.
However, my reaction reminded me of quote by Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who survived Nazi concentration camps.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
I read his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, soon after I took my coach training with Barefoot.
If you’ve not had the chance, it’s a surprisingly optimistic and uplifting read.
And for me, a chastening reminder, that no matter what gets thrown at me, I have more ways of responding than I can even imagine!
So as we head into another period of lockdown and things appear a lot less than "PERFECT" for many, I wonder if this approach may prove useful again.
